Ian loved the water since he was about 18 months old. We have a picture of him being held up in the water by his sister Chelsea because he couldn’t quite swim yet. Surprisingly, after his passing, she told us that actually he was holding her up. We were so surprised. He was so young. He couldn’t even swim yet. Wasn’t he the one that needed help? Looking back, this is Ian’s life in four words:

He Held People Up

Remembering
Ian Miskelley

Courtesy the University of Michigan, September 2025

What We Needed To Be Held Up

Collaboration within the health care system
Family-driven care that prioritized us as his support system
No insurance loopholes and to know that there are “tricks” to get care
Someone who took the time to explain his illness and was accessible
Involving us in every aspect of care
Setting goals for Ian and having a discharge plan
Transparency and honesty
Action based education
To be listened to
The tools and words to work with Ian on a daily basis
A place to go when we had questions and concerns right away
Someone to guide us with no handoffs
Someone to always be there with us during this painful journey
Someone to take the time to really help us
Someone who looked at the big picture
Tell us that he had constant suicide ideation and how to manage it

What Ian Needed To Be Held Up

Family-centered support during his early years that was transparent and truthful about his illness
Learn at an early age how to express what he was feeling and thinking
Strategies that met him where he was at
Options for care between appointments
Told when treatment wasn’t working, it wasn’t his fault
His family and support network educated and supported
Peer advocacy/survivors from mental illness that understood his pain and could be a role model
Not to be told he was would be better if he worked harder at it
When he told someone he suicidal ideation he was taken seriously and his support network was engaged

Ian Was A Fighter

He got up every day and battled his illness in order to live an ordinary life. He learned at an early age with hard work and determination that he could reach his goals. He truly believed that hard work paid off-it always had. He was a good student and a Division I collegiate athlete all while suffering from unimaginable pain from his illness. This is common among student-athletes who are programmed from a young age to portray a strong exterior even when things are not going well.

“Ever since they were six or seven years old they have this fighter mentality,...they are to fight through whatever they need to fight through. Sometimes it’s some sort of mental illness and they need to stop and address it” (Tuesday, T.L., 2020).

We stopped and addressed it, but it wasn’t enough. We were not supported, educated, or advocated for when he was at home. The current mental health system doesn't demand family involvement. It doesn't Listen or Change. We must make it Be Better;.

Why The Turtle Logo and Our Name?

Since Ian was a little kid, he loved anything to do with the water, the ocean, sharks, and especially turtles. He had a pet turtle, Oscar, and his dream was to save sea turtles. When we were on our last family vacation in Hawaii, Ian finally got to snorkel with them. He would lose himself for hours. He was truly at peace in the water.

Our name, TEAM Be Better;, comes from the end of the eulogy that Ian’s Uncle Brian gave: "He made us better for knowing him. That was Ian's superpower...so be better". Brian’s ex-wife, Liz, designed the turtle logo for a family tattoo just after Ian’s passing. That design and Brian’s words were so special to us, that we wanted them to be a part of Ian’s legacy. Brian was such a huge part of Ian’s life, using his words and Liz’s art seemed perfect. The semicolon comes from the tattoo that Ian had on his wrist. “It is a sign of solidarity and strength in the face of suicide, depression, and other mental health issues. For those who have gone through it, it is a reminder of how far they have come” (Roden, 2021). The TEAM part comes from the importance of Ian's swim team throughout his whole life. He always said they were his family.